The Mythical Chupacabra!!

I am back from vacation! And I had a marvelous time with family in the beautiful state of North Carolina. I spent time at Atlantic Beach, Greenville, and Roxborough Lake. Fantastic, relaxing, and it didn't cost us very much either. :)  Anyway, on with the fun.

Monster Chupacabra

There was a Chupacabra siting in North Carolina while I was there! This is unusual because normally chupacabra sitings happen in Texas or Mexico or something. Don't know what a chupacabra is? It's sort of a hairless dog looking thing. But it's IMAGINARY.  It's like Big Foot. Or the loch ness monster. It isn't really there or your eyes are playing tricks on you... Or someone shaved all the hair off their dog. Wikipedia has some weird image on their site which doesn't look anything like a chupacabra is supposed to. Check it out on the left.

Now.. That looks kinda like an alien, doesn't it? It looks nothing like the "siting" they showed on the news or any of the pictures google brings up about chupacabras. It looks like one of those sinister little aliens that sneak into kitchen cupboards and spring out and scream at you when you're just trying to get a bowl for your cheerios!!!! I hate those kind of aliens. I can handle other kinds.. Like the punk-ass ones in Signs that die from water. Or the nice-ish ones from Star Trek. Star Trek aliens are never reeeally scary. Speaking of Star Trek.. William Shatner just did a documentary called The Captains. You can watch it on Epix HD. There's a free 14 day trial so I'm gonna take the trial and watch it. OR Kenneth could do it. KENNETH DO IT. <3 It looks kinda like Netflix. I need to watch it, cause I love me some Star Trek captains. Well.. Some of them. My order of preference is:

1. Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) Star Trek: TNG
2. Katherine Janeway (Kate Mulgrew) Star Trek: Voyager
3. James T. Kirk (William Shatner) Star Trek: TOS
4. The rest. Cause they suck. (All the other ones)

I'm probably letting you know too much about my love of Star Trek.. But I don't caaaaaaaaare! I am a huge nerd. If you didn't know that already, whose blog have you been reading?

Sidenote: If you go to the dentist and you have new insurance, bring your damn card. 

OH HEY!!!!!!!  I found a picture of a Chupacabra that's ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE. Check it out.

The mythical CHUPACABRA!

Dog, right? Ya. Someone has not been feeding their dog and all the hair fell out. Chupacabra = imaginary.

Book 3

I've been reading Game of Thrones. I finished the second book on vacation last week and started the third. 71% through it as of last night when I went to bed.  That's pretty good for such looooong books.  And they are fantastic. Except that he kills like everyone off. BUT, it makes it exciting and unpredictable. And more realistic than most of this type of genre. You get attached to someone and then he RIPS them away from you in some awful way.  I didn't realize how long these books were because I have them on my kindle, which doesn't go by page but instead goes by percentage. The first book is 835 pages in paperback. I think the newest book (book five, A Dance with Dragons) is over 1000 in hardback.

Now it is technically in the "Fantasy" genre. But it doesn't really shove a bunch of magic/fantasy/mythical creatures at you so it's a safe read for anyone really.  There's no chupacabras in Game of Thrones. But there are DRAGONS.  I haven't been into a series this much in a loooong time. Check it out if you need something to read that's more than some quick evening/beach read.

Speaking of the beach... I leave you with a picture of the view from my beach chair. It was a lovely 86 degrees.

My feet and the beach.

 OOO AND! I found the Dos Equis man (The Most Interesting Man in the World) at Chico's in Greenville. Picture of me and him!

I don't always go to Mexican Restaurants, but when I do I find the Dos Equis man.

Ok really that's it.

<3 Jess

Edit: The inlaws Lake house is on Roxboro lake. Not Lake Roxborough like I had previously stated! Thanks to my husband for the catch!

Edit 2: Mario sent me a picture that he thinks is a Chupacabra. He lives in Texas. I think it's just a tiny cat in the rain.

Geography Lesson.

I am trying not to go insane at work. Also. New font. Welcome, Helvetica. I feel ten times cooler now. I don't understand what all the fuss is about regarding fonts anyways. Blogger.com choices are very limited. Here they are.  Maybe there's a widget that will expand my choices to include crazy cursive fonts that no one can read. Then I will change all my entries to bright neon pink background with yellow letters so you'll have to squint and eventually end up with a neon-Jessica induced migraine. THIS WILL COME WITH NO WARNING.

Georgia on my mind.

1. Arial. Boring unless it's italicized.
2. Courier. Kinda cool. Kinda typewritery.
   
3. Georgia. Which is a STATE, not a font people.
4. Helvetica. The cool kid.
5. Times. What I wrote all my papers in college in. Which now seems like a mistake, because all these other fonts take up WAY more room.  Dammit. Missed opportunity. Kenneth, write your DMA "document" in Verdana or Helvetica. It takes up way more room.
6. Trebuchet. I'm pretty sure a Trebuchet is a catapult.

Verdana. Which is different than a verandah. Which is like an outside place.     


Ok enough. I'm back to Helvetica, which seems HUGE compared to Times. OMG I wasted so much time in my youth writing in Times New Roman. THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!! 

 TOMORROW I go to North Carolina. I'm kind of hella excited about this. And I will give you reasons in a list format. LISTS, for those of you that are blind and/or three freaking years old, are things put into a line for organization's sake. 

1.  Weather. It's kind of gorgeous there compared to here.
2. There's no bosslady there.
3. My family is there!
4. No crazy spinning teachers. (Well, to be clear I'm sure there ARE crazy spinning teachers in the great state of North Carolina but I won't be meeting any of them.)
5. THE BEACH
6. THE LAKE

My parents are taking us to the beach Wed-Thurs of this week. SO EXCITED. I used to hate the beach. Now I kind of love it. You know why? My kindle.. My sunglasses. And the sun. I kind of love the sunlight.  Like <3 it. Don't get me wrong - I'm all about the night time too. But I miss the sun living in Cincinnati, where it's perpetually hazy/cloudy/rainy/snowy/sucky.


But if I'm in the sunlight I have to wear sunglasses, cause I'm a squinter. You know.. One of THOSE people who look like they're thinking of something really hard but really the light hurts their eyes. Ok anyway. Even I'm bored of talking about this.......... 


I can make it through the rest of the workday BECAUSE. (Yes another list cause I might need an intervention about lists)

1. I am going SPINNING afterwards!! (Yes, I'm excited. Don't judge me.)
2. And then picking up INDIAN FOOD from Baba India!
3. Then I do not have to come back to work until the 27th of JULY!!!!! WOOHOOOOOO!

Ok that's all I have for you today. OH WAIT. 


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Ok I took a picture of my pet dinosaur perched on top of my diet coke can. I don't think he's the kind that can open door handles. 

 

Sid thinks I'm a moron.

We're going to see Harry Potter at 4:40pm! Along with everyone else in the world that had better things to do last night at 12:01 this morning. Like sleep. I've been going to sleep early lately. I don't know what's gotten in to me. I must be getting old, like Kenneth. (Who, if we have forgotten is 30 now.)

Video Warning: Explicit Language. 

But Craig Ferguson's rabbit thinks I'm a f#$%ing moron for seeing it on the day it comes out. Sid, you obviously don't understand my relationship with Harry Potter. The first movie came out in 2001, which happens to be the year I graduated High School.  I was one of those kids who read sci-fi/fantasy novels instead of paying attention in English class or band practice. So the movie was a big deal for me.  I wasn't so into the books until after the second movie came out. Even then after reading all of them, I prefer the movies. Not to knock the author, but oh well. It's nice to know some of the backstory you don't get in the movies, but I could have done without them.

SO.. in a related comment.. I think it's funny that some of my friends on facebook are complaining about "spoilers" from those people who saw it at midnight. THEY ARE FROM BOOKS. And honestly, if you don't read and you haven't heard the ending (OR EVEN GUESSED IT) you're just not thinking hard enough.  Something posted yesterday on Failbook that made me giggle.

Green guy, ya I agree.

Kenneth's watching the special features of the Deathly Hallows part 1 movie on blue ray. I keep talking to the cat, which annoys him because I talk to the cat like it's a person. Her name is Cora, but we call her Kitter cause I think giving animals people names is silly. So she's Kitter. My first dog will probably be "Puppy."  I want a corgi. I think I've mentioned that before. But anyway - I'm getting off topic.

HARRY POTTER. What books on tape will we listen to on the way to North Carolina now? (8 hour drive.) Any suggestions? Game of Thrones might be good.. It'd be a good way to get Kenneth into them anyway.

We're going to the Kenwood Theatre which is still pretty new. Small screens, small theaters. I went to get tickets when they opened so we're guaranteed seats - but I'm sure it will be FULL.  I'll update this after we get back to tell you how it went. :)

Sorry for the entire post being about Harry Potter and cats and things.. Something else quickly.. Hmmm.. OH, I had a personal training session with Gyasi today. Wasn't as death-inducing as the last one! Must mean I'm making progress!

Salsatastrophe

There are times when all you can do is smile, nod, and try to be positive.

THIS, my non-existent-blog-readers, is one of those times. SO I WILL SMILE. :)

Sparkley thing to celebrate Kenneth.

Kenneth's birthday was MONDAY! He turned 30! Which is half of 60. And one third of 90. So he's basically almost 90. I had to work, so the festivities had to wait til afterwards. We went to Taquiera Mercado in downtown Cincinnati. I just realized that website is all in Spanish. So if you want to check out the restaurant, go here for the Urban Spoon site for the place.  It was good, but you had to pay for chips and salsa. WHO DOES THAT? It was a SALSATASTROPHE. I am trademarking that word. Salsatastrophe. My word. No you may not borrow it for your commercial.  I had the tacos (al pastor and chorizo) and they were yummy.  Pretty inexpensive too. Kenneth's friends (and I guess mine too now!) Michael, Jon, Olga, and Jeremy came to dinner. It was nice to get them away from CCM. That's the place all the doctory things happen. Well.. pre-doctory things. Cause he's not a Doctor. YET.  The day before his birthday I sang in his church, Blue Ash Presbyterian.  He said that it was part of his birthday present because he's sweet and knows I have 0 money. Like. Zero. If I had to pay one dollar to publish this blog post, you non-existent-blog-readers would be OUT OF LUCK.  But.. I did manage to get something for Kenneth for his birthday. It is scandalous and will not be recounted here. (Well, not that scandalous.) A fun time was had by all, and in the near future we will be one of those couples who throws huge birthday parties for one another. Do those people even exist? I mean.. do they run around for months sending invitations and ordering balloons and picking table decorations for a birthday party? Those people have too much time on their hands.

I WANT THAT CACTUS

Work is what's getting me down lately, so I don't want to dwell on it for too long. To make a long, frustrating story short - the Doc is cutting down our hours. And it's getting to be below the point that I can still pay the rent. Which is bad. Cause I like our House. As tiny and cute and moldy as it is. I like it. So I want to keep it. I'm applying for other positions and part time positions that MIGHT work around this schedule... Or possibly for something that could replace it entirely.  But for now, I am gonna just keep smiling and doing my current job. Cause that's all I can do. :) Sidenote, I want a cactus for my desk.

So.. I'm going to do something completely crazy. Something so far outside my current limits that it's a little insane. That thing is Tough Mudder.  I got the idea from one of my WoW friends - but I totally claim it as my own idea now. I WANNA DO THIS.  My goal is to do the one in Ohio/Indiana March 24&25 of 2012.  Now.. If you don't want to take a minute to follow the link to this "event" lemme brief you. It's a 10 mile long obstacle course. It involves mud, ice cold water, fire, hella tall walls, live electricity, and some camaraderie. I'm gonna need to kick my butt into SERIOUS gear to get ready for this. So far I've asked a couple people to do it with me. Ashley and my sister Amanda for starters. It's more up Manda's alley since she's in the Air Force and has like.. done obstacle courses before. BUT.. I think I will do MUCH better if I race with people I know. OH AND. It's not a "race." They don't time you if you're not one of the first 100 people to finish (which I definitely will NOT be.) and they just emphasize finishing the course. You get a beer when you're done. It's that kinda thing. :) And I like beer. Who doesn't like beer? Nazis, that's who. Are you a Nazi? I DIDN'T THINK SO.

Anyone else wanna be stupid and do it with me?

PS: I think I need an intervention for my excessive cap-locking in this and previous posts. 
PSS: I think my cat needs a kitty-treat intervention. 
PSSS: Kenneth does not need an intervention of any kind cause he's cool like that.
PSSSS: Feel free to comment and follow me, I'll return the favor. :)
PSSSSS: I also need an intervention about PS's.

I'd like to express my enjoyment of this weather forecast. Not a single day below 80 degrees. This is my version of heaven. I HATE being cold. The sub-arctic (only a SLIGHT exaggerations) of Cincinnati in the Winter months, which by the way include October through May, are intolerable. I should start a protest. I'll make a sign. But not one of those Tea Party signs with bad grammar/spelling. It'll say something witty.. I'm not sure what yet.. Any suggestions?

In completely unrelated news (but with no abrupt subject change hippo picture cause Kenneth made fun of me for it) I stopped suddenly when I was walking to the restroom today and looked at the picture by the door. Lucky me, I had my camera.

It occurred to me that... THIS ISN'T A CLEAR WOMEN'S RESTROOM ANYMORE!!

It allows women and handicapped men. That dude isn't wearing a dress. It must be a man. This immediately makes me afraid of this bathroom. There are a LOT of elderly wheelchair-bound gentlemen in this building. They could come rolling in anytime. Women, BE ON ALERT!

Hmmmmmmmm.......... What else is going on. Kenneth's birthday is next Monday. He's turning the big 30 - which is like ancient, bones turning brittle kind of age. That reminds me.. I need to take out a life insurance policy on him soon. :) I think we'll be going to dinner with some of his friends, cause we can't afford much else. Such is the life of a Doctoral student and an underemployed wife (me!)

Ok. I lied about the no hippo thing.

BUT It doesn't count because it's a new hippo. :)

The Cincinnati Zoo (which I need a membership to.. If anyone's feeling generous.) has a "Wild About Wine" night coming up in August. WHICH I WANT TO GO TO. You get to sample 8 wines and pet cute animals like all up close and stuff.  You get a wine glass. And you can NEVER have too many wine glasses around my house. You know why? Cause Kenneth breaks them.

Love you babe.

PS: As always, comments and follows are appreciated. :)

Firework Wizard Duels

Happy 4th!!


Usually a day to remind us how awesome the US is. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else.. Well.  I take that back.  I could live in England.. Or Ireland. Or Japan.  Not Canada or Russia.

Egg that doesn't match my couch.

So.. I guess I should modify my original statement. I couldn't imagine being BORN anywhere else but the good ole USA.  We've got our problems, but they're white people problems. Like.. The color couch I want isn't available in the suede that's needed to match my Fabergé egg. DARN.


In other news - Fabergé eggs are hella ugly. I think I remember my mom watching QVC and ordering some ugly ass eggs. I wonder if she still has them. 


Also, it turns out that there is a whole website dedicated to White People Problems. Enjoy, thank me later. One that I've actually done: Check phone to see what time it is. Have to check it again because I wasn't paying attention the first time.






Another thing that I could do without in America? Jimmy Smits. Seriously. I hate that guy. Him and his perfect hair and adorable smile. SHUT UP JIMMY SMITS. Why has he hosted "A Capital Fourth" like eleventy billion times? And WHY did he change outfits like 6 times??? Isn't that sending the wrong message Jimmy Smits? I THINK SO.

Kody, da Tice's dog.

LAKE HOUSE Kenneth's parents (my inlaws!) have a house on a Lake. In addition to their normal one. Like a weekend beach house.. only it's on the lake. And there's no beach.  But there is a gorgeous house with a wall full of windows.  The weather was perfect and the activities were awesome. Well.. there were no activities.. Which meant relaxation. :) Which is exactly what we needed.  ALSO, they have a furry horse. Also known as a Bouvier des Flandres. It's HUGE. I'm kind of scared of big dogs. And he barked really loud at me when we came inside. After a little bit though he warmed up and decided he liked me. PICTURE. This is an old picture. He is even huger. Is that a word? I don't think so.  But I played fetch with him and I decided I liked him too.

Kenneth wants a big dog. I want corgis. A flock of them. THIS MANY. 




Ok maybe not quite this many.


But more than one or two. I will dress up as the queen for halloween and Kenneth will dress up as the STIG. Bonus points if you know who the Stig is.


But on a serious note. It was great to see some family.  It gets lonely up here in Cincinnati sometimes. I'm looking forward to seeing my parents in a few weeks! North Carolina again!




Hope you have a fabulous 4th full of rainbows, Jimmy Smits, Steve Martin's banjo band, firework wizard duels (THOSE ARE SO UNSAFE.).